


Breathe With Me

by Jayden_Blues



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Upside Down, Comfort, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-11
Updated: 2020-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:40:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23107894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jayden_Blues/pseuds/Jayden_Blues
Summary: Out of the blue, Billy finds himself having a panic attack at Starcourt Mall. Just when he thinks he's going to start hyperventilating, Steve "Dingus" Harrington comes to his rescue.
Relationships: Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington
Comments: 1
Kudos: 117





	Breathe With Me

**Author's Note:**

> While at work, surrounded by a lot of noise and people, I was at the verge of panicking. And so I thought, why not just write out my feelings?
> 
> This is the result, please enjoy this short little drabble on our two emotionally constipated babies. It starts off fast so fasten your seat belts!

_Why is everyone looking at me?_

_Why is everyone so loud?_

_I can’t be here._

_Can I escape?_

_My chest hurts._

_I’m gonna hyperventilate._

_My mind is spinning._

_My hands are shaking._

_I’m gonna hyperventilate._

_I feel sick._

_My stomach hurts._

**_I’m gonna hyperventilate—_ **

“Billy?” a voice prompted, blue eyes unfocused as he looked to the source. “Billy?”

The blond finally focused in on the voice, finding none other than Steve Harrington standing beside him. His hand was open, hesitant to touch Billy in fear of provoking him. A part of his panic lessened knowing that Steve was beside him, but it only opened the floodgates for the fear to wash over him. 

He didn’t want to burden Steve. 

He didn’t want to be weak in front of Steve of all people. 

He didn’t want to be an inconvenience. 

He didn’t want to be pathetic in Steve’s eyes.

“I’m fine.” Billy falsely assured, nodding as he swallowed back his ever-growing panic. “I-I’m fine, Dingus, just go away.”

“Are you sure? You don’t look so good.” Steve continued, concern flooding chocolate hues. 

“C’mon, let’s get you someplace quiet--”

“I said I’m fine.” Billy hissed, pushing himself away from Steve. 

He stumbled back against the wall, visibly flinching as if it had slapped him. Blue eyes slowly directed down to the ground, his breathing uneven as the sounds of Starcourt Mall amplified in his thundering ears. He couldn’t hear Steve when the male quietly comforted him and gently guided him by his arm. Everything seemed to blur together, feeling the exhilarating panic contrasting the numbed void inside him. The sounds of door hinges creaking crackled like lightning in Billy’s ears, restraining the shaking of his hands as he shuffled inside the room. 

Hands carefully guided him further into the room before slowly easing Billy down into a chair, encouraging the blond to lean forward and bow his head between his knees. The sounds of Starcourt Mall had lessened inside his ears, thankful that the enthusiastic noises of its patrons were significantly muffled by the room’s walls. He couldn’t decipher what Steve had said to him, but he closed his eyes and tried to focus on how the ground felt beneath his shoes.

Billy could feel his chest heave as his breathing was ragged and deep, hands gripping his knees for support as Steve’s hand was gently cradled over his head. It took everything within his power not to allow himself to cry, doing his best to compose his tears. He could feel the denim between his fingernails, the soft cushion the chair provided.

And despite not wanting to hear any sound, Steve’s voice became an outlet to help ground him. 

Slowly, yet surely, Billy could understand Steve’s slurred sounds become words. 

“Inhale...one...two...three...four...hold...exhale.” Steve quietly instructed, clearly hearing his breathing exercise. 

Billy gradually loosened his grip on his knees, slowly synchronizing his breathing to Steve’s. His head no longer felt like a carousel spinning into the stratosphere, at last regaining a sense of rationality as he continued to follow Steve’s instructions. It seemed like a miracle to Billy from how fast his panic attack subsided, noting the first that anyone had sat through one with him. And Billy damn well made sure that he didn’t let Max have any inclination of him having one either, he was the older brother, she didn’t need to take care of him. 

“You’re doing good, Billy.” Steve praised with a gentle hum, carefully petting down the disheveled golden curls. “Just breathe.”

Billy hated how easy it was for him to focus on Steve, hating himself more for how his trembling hands settled down into subtle flinching. The brunette had grown on him since the first day he arrived at Hawkins, and that soft spot had only grown for him. He took out those conflicting feelings out on Steve, from roughhousing to swearing at him. Yet here Steve was as if Billy had never harmed him as if they were strangers and Steve was extending a helping hand, as if they were close friends and Steve wanted to help his dear friend.

“I...I think I’m okay.” Billy managed to speak in a whisper, slowly raising up to rest his back against the seat. He rubbed his face to awaken the numbed tingles in his cheeks, daring to look up to the brown eyes gazing at him. His heart fluttered at the sight of Steve’s caring demeanor, expression soft and unguarded. 

“That’s good. I can stay if you need me to.” Steve offered with a smile, fidgeting his awkwardness away with him shifting the weight on his feet. 

“And be seen with you in that get-up?” Billy snickered, attempting to cover up the previous panic attack.

“It’s my work outfit, I don’t make the rules.” Steve scoffed as he put his hands on his hips, making a lighthearted tease. “You really must be okay if you’re well enough to jab at me.”

“Kinda surprised you didn’t just let me suffer.” Billy admitted, biting his bottom lip after he blurted the words out. Knowing there was no taking them back, he continued. “Would’ve been good payback for those black eyes.”

“Maybe, but I wanted to help. Would’ve felt like shit if I let you suffer when I could’ve helped.” Steve answered with a faint smile. “I’m a friend to any in need.”

“God, you sound like a mom.” Billy groaned, running his hands over his face.

“I make a damn good babysitter.” Steve chuckled, grinning when Billy parted his fingers to glare at him.

“And what’s that supposed to mean, Harrington?” Billy inquired, earning a smirk. 

“That you act like a five-year-old throwing a temper tantrum sometimes.” Steve snickered, bracing himself for the blond to charge at him or throw a punch. When Billy exhaled deeply and let his hands fall from his face, Steve lowered his arms as Billy spoke.

“I guess I do.” Billy admitted under his breath, looking up to Steve when he offered a raised eyebrow for him to continue. “Thanks for uh...you know. Helping me out.”

“No problem.” Steve assured, shifting his feet as he dropped his hands from his hips. “Is there anything else I can do? Give you a hug? Pat you on the back?”

“A hug?” Billy echoed with confusion.

“Yeah, a hug.” Steve confirmed with a curious glance. “I take it you don’t get many of those.”

“Shuddup.” Billy snipped, motioning Steve forward. 

The brunette scoffed in amusement, smiling as he walked forward and allowed Billy to wrap his arms around his waist. Steve laid his arms over Billy’s shoulders, rubbing his back and offering a good-hearted squeeze. Warmth filled Billy’s heart, giving into the comforting feelings that Steve offered. But Billy wasn’t gay, oh no. 

_Not gay._

Because it was completely normal for two males to express affection. 

“Am I keeping you?” Billy inquired softly, gently clutching onto Steve’s shirt.

“Nope. Still on break.” Steve answered, patting Billy’s back. “Take as long as you need.”

“If you say so.” Billy hummed, resting his ear against Steve’s chest. He closed his eyes, feeling himself smile as he could hear the fluttering heart of Steve Harrington.

  
  



End file.
